Solo travel changed my life, but not in the way most people expect. It wasn’t about meeting new people or constantly being social. It was about learning to truly enjoy my own company and realizing that I am actually… a really fun person to be around.
That didn’t happen overnight. It started small, built slowly, and eventually led me to booking a trip across Europe by myself. And somewhere along the way, I stopped waiting for other people to live my life.
If you’re curious about solo travel or still working up the courage, this is the skill that matters most. Not planning, not budgeting, not even confidence at first. It’s learning to be alone and genuinely enjoy it.
Solo Travel Starts Long Before You Board a Plane
Before I ever stepped onto a flight alone, I had to get comfortable doing things solo in my everyday life.
It started with movies. That felt like an easy win. You sit in the dark, eat your popcorn, and no one is really talking anyway. From there, I pushed myself a little further. I went to a concert alone when Taylor Swift came to town. I didn’t have any Swiftie friends, but I also wasn’t about to miss it. So I booked the ticket, showed up alone, and ended up loving every second of it.
Dinner alone took a bit more courage. Sitting at a table by yourself feels different than sitting at a bar. It’s quieter. More intentional. More exposed, in a way. But that’s also where the growth happens.
And then there was the turning point.
A girls’ weekend in the mountains that I should have loved, but didn’t. I’m not into bars, not into clubs, and definitely not into snow sports. I remember thinking, why am I forcing myself into trips that don’t actually make me happy?
That was the moment the idea clicked. What if I just… went by myself?
I gave myself a year to plan it. And then I did it. London, Rome, and Paris. Alone.
That trip quite literally changed my brain chemistry.
Traveling Alone as a Woman Means Rewriting the Narrative
There’s this narrative around traveling alone as a woman that it has to be brave, or scary, or some big social experiment where you meet strangers and make lifelong friends.
And sure, that can happen. But it doesn’t have to.
For me, solo travel isn’t about seeking out other people. It’s about experiencing moments fully, without distraction. It’s wandering a city at my own pace. It’s sitting at a café for as long as I want. It’s laughing at my own thoughts and realizing I genuinely enjoy my own company.
That’s something I didn’t fully understand until I experienced it.
And once you do, it’s hard to go back.
The Night That Changed How I See “Being Alone”
On my 40th birthday, I took myself to New York City for a few nights. No big group, no plans to meet up with anyone. Just me, celebrating a milestone exactly how I wanted to.
Before seeing Wicked that night, I treated myself to a steakhouse dinner. I was seated in one of those half booths, close enough to the table next to me that you’re aware of each other, but still in your own space.
It was an older couple. And I could feel it. The curiosity. The wondering why I was alone.
And I remember thinking, please don’t talk to me.
Of course, they did.
At first, I was a little reluctant. I’m not someone who goes out of my way to talk to strangers. But slowly, the conversation unfolded. And by the end of the meal, something really unexpected happened.
They had the waitstaff bring me out a birthday cake. Candle and all. Singing included.
And then, they tried to sneak out.
Except when I asked for the check, the waiter quietly told me they had already taken care of it.
My entire meal. On my 40th birthday. In New York City.
I caught them before they left. There were tears. On both sides. Their names were Barb and Steve, and I will never forget them.
That night didn’t change the fact that I love my solo time. I still don’t travel to meet people.
But it opened my eyes to something important. When you’re open, even just a little, the world can surprise you in the best ways.
How to Practice Being Alone (Before You Travel)
If solo travel feels intimidating, start where you are. You don’t need a passport to build this skill.
Try this, slowly and intentionally:
- Take yourself to a movie
- Go to dinner at a table, not the bar
- Visit a museum in your city
- Go to a concert you don’t want to miss
- Plan a solo day trip to a nearby town
The goal isn’t just to “be alone.” It’s to learn how to enjoy it.
To stop reaching for your phone every second. To sit in your own thoughts without discomfort. To realize that your own company is actually enough.
Because once you get that part down, everything else about solo travel becomes so much easier.
Why This Is the Skill That Changes Everything
Logistics can be figured out. You can Google your way through itineraries, transportation, and where to stay.
But if you don’t know how to be alone, solo travel can feel overwhelming instead of freeing.
When you do learn it, though, something shifts.
You stop waiting for people to be available.
You stop compromising on what you actually want to do.
You stop putting your life on hold.
And you start living it. Fully.
Final Thoughts: You Only Get One Life
I didn’t start solo travel in my early twenties. I started later. And honestly, I think that made it even more meaningful.
Because I know what it feels like to wait. To try to coordinate schedules. To sit out on experiences because no one else can go.
And I also know what it feels like to finally say, I’m not waiting anymore.
Solo travel isn’t about being alone in a lonely way. It’s about being alone in a powerful, freeing, deeply fulfilling way.
You only get one life.
Go live it. Even if that means starting with a table for one.